Indifferent
by Suzu Holic
Summary: Karin knows she is hated. Knows her time is short. But all she wants is one look from the man she followed, one look that was not one of indifference... A Karin One shot.


…

Karin POV

"Karin….Karin….OY! KARIN!".

A hand comes into view, right smack in my face and I lose my footing as I jump a yard back. I fall hard on my back as the pile of wood in my hands collapse on the floor with a majestic click click clack!

I look up slowly and readjust my glasses. My red eyed land on Juugo, then on the perpetrator, Suigetsu. He has a half smirk on his face, and I can tell he's looking for a fight. Strangely, I just stare at him lethargically before I stand up again and wordlessly pick up the pieces of wood for our usual camp fire.

I pick them up slowly…I'm in no hurry and I can hear a small huff from behind me. I know Suigetsu is waiting. Perhaps for me to shout something at him. Or to throw a piece of wood at his little water logged head…

But I just don't feel like doing it today.

I continue walking, the wood replied in my arms and from behind me I hear a breath of surprise. "What was that? She didn't say anything!" that's Suigetsu . I can't see him, but I can only imagine his jaw is hanging open a bit. Mine would to if I were him.

"Maybe she's sick…"comes Juugo's voice. My keen senses pick up the flutter of wings… he probably has one of those butterflies on his shoulders or something…I walk pass the trees and into our camp site. Afterall, the boys don't need me in the way while they're training and I really have to start dinner.

I find myself thinking about how on earth I am going to transform four potatoes, a mound of celery and half a fish into an edible meal. I bluntly note that Suigetsu probably won't even eat the fish…that means I'll have to think of something else…

As I wallow in thoughts of a healthy dinner I catch sight of _him_.

I can't help it, I gasp and I just barely manage to keep the pile of sticks from tumbling out of my hands for the second time in five minutes.

"Sasuke…"I breath.

He's meditating right now and I can see his form basked in the yellow light of a setting sun, a burning eye sinking into the lake to sleep until tomorrow morning when it makes it's appearance again, this time peaking over the top of the trees…

His stout shoulders are relaxed, and his legs are crossed. I see his hands clutching his partner on the battlefield, his trusty sword, as it rests on his flanks. His raven hair is untidy as always, the light illuminating it's bluish tints, and his blank dark eyes stare unblinkingly across the water.

Before I can even start to wonder what he's thinking about, he turns around to look at me, probably having heard my involuntary call and I quickly avert my gave before, I walk away briskly. I walk faster, and faster as I squeeze my eyes close.

Suddenly I don't want to be here, I don't want him to see me, to look at me!

Even so, Sasuke is cruel. His eyes follow me and I feel them boring holes in my back, cold, indifferent. 'Why?' I think to myself. 'Why does he always only ever look at me like that?'.

He is indifferent.

And I hate it!

If only he'd look at me with some emotion, I don't care of it's annoyance, or disdain, or even disgust! I have felt those looks before and I can handle being hated, I'll welcome it! I won't complain! I'll smile and praise Kami if only he'd look at me with something other than indifference!

I slump on the forest floor, alone and halfway towards our camp. It's getting dark and cold, and I know its stupid to sit in the middle of no where like this, especially when there's dinner to be cooked, but I can't move, I can't budge.

I don't cry. I feel like it, but I don't.

I have fought many battles, more than I will allow anyone to ever know. I have not simply lived my life idly shouting orders like a warden at Orochimaru's bases. No, if my life was that simple, that easy…

I sigh.

One of the hardest battles I have fought, was against myself. I know there's a spring beside me, but I turn my back to it, afraid, that if I move, I'll catch a glimpse of my accursed face in the reflection.

I hate myself.

Ha! I admit it! I even disgust myself!

"Are you happy now?" I shout angrily up at the sky. "All of you watchers who hate me! Who scorn me! 'Oh! Karin's a slutty bitch, she's such a whore, we should just go dig a ditch and throw her in'! Well hurry up then! If you hate me so much, do us all a favor and kill me already!" I screech picking up rocks and throwing them at the sky at the trees, anywhere…

I clutch my head tangling my fingers in my redder then fire hair and I scream.

My scream echoes through the forest, bouncing back at me. The forest is still. No animals stir, not even the heavens heed my challenge. I fall onto my but as I stare up at the sky, tears stinging at my eyes.

Indifferent.

The whole world is indifferent to me…

…

About an hour later I am saved.

The boys noticed I was gone. It seems Suigetsu even heard my scream…

I am awoken by a gentle nudge on my shoulder and I open my eyes seeing a flash of ginger colored hair and a blotch of silver.

"Karin…we should go back to camp. You don't seem to well, you should rest…" comes Juugo's meek voice as he looks down at me with wide, almost child like eyes.

"Yeah…screaming like that, it's really not funny…." I hear Suigetsu say. He's scowling but I see traces of worry in his eyes. I blink and put on my glasses. As I look around I see that it's dark, I must have really been out long.

Suddenly I remember something. Something important.

"Dinner…" I mumble standing up abruptly only to bump my head on a low hanging tree branch. Cue the muffled laughter.

I observe Suigetsu out of the corner of my eye as he practically stuffs a fist in his mouth to keep from laughing. I almost frown, but I let it go. He'd like to laugh, but he's trying not to…that's pretty cool…you know…for my everyday nemesis.

"Dinner has been taken care off. Sasuke said he'd take tonight's dinner responsibility" Juugo answers, obviously not as inclined to laugh as the mist swordsman to my right.

'Sasuke? Oh no! No! That means…that means…!'.

"I've been an inconvenience again…" I murmur staring in a daze ahead. Suigetsu's laugh stops short and Juugo looks at me with furrowed brows. "What…makes you think that…?".

I look up suddenly with hard eyes. "I don't think it, I know it". I said harshly before swearving my gaze and locking it on Suigetsu. "I heard" I begin. "Sasuke's going to replace me soon" I continue coldly.

There is a silence as both of my team mates shuffle uneasily, neither wanting to look me in the eye, not without some sort of reassurance. But there is none. I know for a fact, that Sasuke hate's useless people. He hates them even more if they are burdens…

None of them answer, and I don't pressure them to do so. I look all tough and scary right now, but the one who's scared most now is me. I don't want to know the true amount of sins that would deem me useless.

I just want to forget now, what I've heard. I want to forget now that my days as Karin of team Hebi are numbered. I want to keep living to do the teams cooking and to woo over Sasuke and to heal the boys when they get in a skirmish and to be….useful.

I close my eyes and rub my temples. "Let's go back".

…..

As I trudge past the final shrubs and back into camp, I am greeted by the sight of Sasuke sitting once again in a meditative pose as he stares at the roaring camp fire. I see his plate and chopsticks discarded as it is set aside by the stream, waiting to be washed.

I take a seat across him and as I pick up my chopsticks, I spare one glance at him.

He Is indifferent.

Now I really wish I would just die.

(Alright! My first Karin oneshot! Please rate and review! That would make my day!)


End file.
